My Journey with the MBTI

Yesterday, I wrote about authentic leadership—the kind that inspires people to play “follow the leader”—and how one of the first steps to becoming an authentic leader is to become a confident one. Always curious about the concept of confidence, I learned a simple formula in my coaching school days: Confidence = Awareness of strengths + Awareness of weaknesses.

So, I encouraged readers to build confidence by building awareness of their strengths, and I recommended a few tools, including the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). While many may be unfamiliar with this assessment, I thought it might be useful to share my experiences with it.

The MBTI truly changed my life. This is not an exaggeration.

I often get the question from new acquaintances, “How did you go from flying jets to becoming a coach?” Perhaps it seems like the skills involved are too different, or maybe the “Maverick” personality they remember from Top Gun doesn’t quite fit the person in front of them. Well, while I performed fairly well in the air, I was no “Maverick.” In fact, I was miserable almost every day of my first deployment. I had grown up in the Navy, leaving home at the age of 17, and I had given everything to get where I was. So why was I miserable? About four months into it, I started to think that there was something seriously wrong with me.

By the time I deployed again, I had learned to cope a littler better. But I still knew that I was in the wrong place when I’d see the flight schedule for the next day, scan for my name, not see it, and feel a sense of relief.

Then, I left my squadron and “flew a desk” at the U.S. Naval Academy for what would be my last tour in the Navy. During my first year there and wondering what I might like to do besides flying, I took the MBTI. When I got back my results and realized that my personality type was the exact opposite of the typical military officer personality, things started to make more sense.

I could see why I hadn’t understood others’ perspectives or decisions and why they hadn’t understood mine. I learned that as an ENFP, I was the ultimate survivor personality, which explained why I had succeeded as much as I did in such an uncomfortable environment. Then, I learned how to describe my preferences to others so that I could be assigned to do work that engaged me, and I could volunteer for projects that I knew would be a perfect match. I realized that I didn’t need to fulfill the ideal officer personality I pictured—because I was the exact opposite—and once I embraced it, people actually wanted to work with and for me. They recruited their friends to work on my projects, and I developed close bonds with many of them, some which continue to this day.

I learned that I tend to look at the big picture, and I can cut through the clutter to find the paths that will take me to a desired outcome. I learned that while I am in tune with people’s feelings and am comfortable making value judgments (F), I am also an intensely curious questioner (T). I learned that I prefer spontaneity to structure and planning, and that, if given the option, I prefer to make “open-ended” decisions. And most important, I realized that not everyone is like me, and that their differences can be great strengths.

Any self-assessment is just the beginning. Over time, I observed myself and further refined my sense of self. I also observed others and started to appreciate the differences that used to drive me crazy.

In case you’re wondering, my husband is almost the exact opposite personality to me. Now that we’ve learned (and continue to learn) about our personalities, we’ve found ways to work with each other instead of against each other. And most of the time, you’ll find us laughing about it. He even has a funny saying that he uses to help me through that “open-ended” decision thing that would otherwise drive him crazy.

And back to that question I get from new acquaintances, I understand why I get the occasional raised eyebrow. There are some aspects of my personality that are great assets for the business I’m in. As for the others, I thank my years in the Navy for helping me to recognize when the opposite might suit me better. And I’m such a fan of the MBTI that I became certified to administer it, and I use it with my clients all of the time.

Now that I’ve told you a little more about me, I’d like to hear your story. What have you learned about yourself? What has helped you to learn those things, and how do you use that knowledge today?