Straddling the Line Between Arrogance and Self-Doubt

“To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness.”
- Benjamin Franklin

Last week, I listened to a company’s President talk with his large sales staff about the sometimes boring performance numbers from the previous year. The company was doing well, blah, blah, blah. After describing the data points on a few charts and sharing a couple of small changes that would take place over the next year, he turned the stage over to the Cofounder/CEO. The CEO then revealed a new and exciting product release--one which was made possible by the President’s behind-the-scenes orchestration of a ground-breaking partnership, and the crowd went wild.

Afterwards, the President asked me a question. “I was backstage when she made the announcement, and I couldn’t tell if people were excited about the new product. What was their reaction?”

Perhaps he was fishing for a compliment, or perhaps he really was unsure about the reaction. Either way, I know that he didn’t publicly take credit for the hard work he had done. There seemed to be an honest humility about him.

Jim Collins, author of Good to Great and Built to Last, talks about what he calls Level 5 Leadership--the blend of “extreme personal humility and intense personal will.” I’ve met a lot of people with intense will, and not a lot with extreme humility. So, can you teach someone humility? As I look at “humility” a bit closer, I see it near the midpoint on a continuum from arrogance (on the left) to self-doubt (on the right). Just right of center is humility, and just left of center is confidence.

I believe that a leader must straddle this line. Here are a few practices that you can incorporate in your own leadership style, along with some action items to get you started:
· Know what your strengths and weaknesses are. Leverage your strengths and do the things that you are truly gifted at doing. Be aware of your weaknesses so that you do not allow them to become your Achilles’ heel, and therefore undo the successes that you and your team created.
Action: list your three to five strongest strengths and three to five weakest weaknesses. Check out the book Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton, or the audiobook version.
· Play up the strengths of others. Those weaknesses of yours are someone else’s strengths—give them the opportunity to use their strengths and openly appreciate them when they do.
Action: Look at your list of weaknesses, and identify one person per item who shows strength in that area. Find a way to tell them that you’ve noticed it. You'll get insights into this by reading Go Put Your Strengths to Work by Marcus Buckingham or by listening to its audiobook version
· Get a bigger perspective on your accomplishments. Take stock of your successes and realize the exceptional effort and talent you employed to make them happen. And remember the analogy of the turtle on the fencepost: he didn’t get up there all by himself. We’ve all benefited from people who have given us support when we needed it most, and we’ve also felt a little extra boost from unseen blessings or luck.
Action: After you’ve appreciated yourself for the good work you’ve done, send a short and sincere note of thanks to at least one person who supported you. For a fun way to send this note via e-mail, try this reputable site for e-cards.
· Use a little self-deprecating humor. This special brand of humor allows you to be both confident and humble at the same time: confident in that it does not emanate from low self-esteem, and humble in that it shows that you are aware of your own flaws.
Action: Consider experiences that revealed a flaw in you. Imagine that each flaw is the punch line to a joke, and file it away for the next time you give a presentation to a larger audience and need a little ice breaker. For example, if you’re not the world’s best speller, you might say something like, “Although I’ve worked at Initech for over 10 years, I still can’t spell IT.” For some fun tips on how to use self-deprecating humor, take five minutes to read the short article by Scott Ginsberg.

Here’s to your continued development...Cheers!